So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
