Define "chronic" masturbator.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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