I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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