Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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