Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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