So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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