Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
