no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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