He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
