I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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