Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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