haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize