lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
