I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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