For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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