a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Nicole vs. Life
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
