I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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