I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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