i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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