i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize