She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
