I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
