I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
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its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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