Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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