I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
