I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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