awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
