I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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