yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
