So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
