All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
