Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
