i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
