There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And then he peed in my hair
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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