Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
