Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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