No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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