The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
