just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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