you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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