The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
