I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
