hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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