Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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