just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize