Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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