he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
