White coat. Heels.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
