Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
