Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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