Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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