I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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