have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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