I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize