The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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