So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
