I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
