If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I looked at my own cervix.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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