I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Two words: nipple clamps
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