i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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