I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
