I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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