all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
