The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Its about making memories worth repressing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
