Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am spending my child support on dildos
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
