Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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