whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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