well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
