So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
