guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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