I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
